Amanush: Part 2

My experience spending 10 months in a rumored haunted house 🏚

House/ Home Haunted or Not

Late Nov 2019, we had shifted to a new place in Patan Lalitpur, Nepal. Our new home was an inviting bungalow with a garden. It was indeed an old house—renovated. Its exterior was bright and attractive. Built in 10 acre land its rooms were capacious and naturally lit. It had sufficient clean water supply which is a jackpot for anyone residing in Kathmandu. FYI, currently the entire house is on rent for only 45k NPR per month, also on sale for potential buyers. However, it’s downside, you’ll know as we go. Unfortunately, I cannot give away many details of the house as in its exact location because of various factors. However, having learned the lesson the hard way, I can only suggest considering consulting neighbors and to learn a little about the history of any place you are considering buying or renting.

Shield of Positivity

Everything was going hunky-dory until we’d shifted to this new house. In fact in 2019 we were all positive because we had all the reasons to be and more. For instance, after years of struggle we had helped secure our old property early on in 2019. My health, finance, family and work life was aligning smoothly as the months progressed. I had finally made-up my mind to join a new workforce—I was very much looking forward to it. I had bought a new vehicle to complement my new lifestyle thus enjoying my new-found freedom. Most importantly I had regained my health thus was bouncing with joy. Also, it had been 8 months since I’d completed inner engineering (IE) course from Isha Foundation. Therefore, in a way, positivity seemed to be oozing out of every cell in my body; no wonder whomsoever I met around the time only had praises for me. “You look good,” “Still so vibrant & young you are.” “Your face is literally glowing.” “Have you been working out? You look great.” “Your aura is something,” “I feel inspired talking to you.” “You are so optimistic.” “You’ll make a great motivational speaker,” etc. It may sound like I am blowing my own trumpet but those—not my words. 🙂

Our life was transitioning for the better. Thus, hardly any room for negativity. Most things were turning out in our favor thus we looked forward to embracing this change and welcoming 2020 with an open arms. We expected nothing but all great things moving forward but as they say, life never fails to surprise us all; we too had no clue what lay ahead.

Heath Recoup

In 2019, my hemoglobin was back to normal (12+), my thyroid doses were decreasing (which was a good news). I am mentioning these things, because its crucial part of how the story unfolds, from our highs in no time we were experiencing our lowest of lows since we shifted to this new location. As for my mother, she too was in a good health. More than anything, she was happy that things were going great for me. However, like I said, little did we except that we had to experience the things that we did months following December.

Whatever IT Was or Wasn’t

10 months (Nov 2019-Sep 2020), we had spent in the house; more so after mid match due to Covid-19. After having experienced all that we did, I’m still in dilemma. I don’t know whether to thank god for helping us fight this incomprehensible battle OR should I be sad that we had to experience all this in the first place.

I’ll be discussing in detail what we witnessed and the stories we heard from the neighbors in the last series of this blog (Part III). Expect a delay yet again because as I you are reading this blog and I had been compiling details we were in a process of shifting home—add COVID-19 restrictions which isn’t making things any easier.

Also, as difficult it is for us to acknowledge this new reality, it is what it is. Nonetheless, I thank each one of you for connecting (although virtually) and until next time, stay safe and remember, “sometimes even the space that we call our home—isn’t the safest.”

Tracing Tracks

Lockdown Diaries: Memories and more. Using songs to tell a story. Songs that once triggered strong emotions.

All matured, doing all things gown-up. How does your typical day during quarantine starts? Mine does with a work-out, meditation (a lot of it throughout the day), news, work, little breaks in-between followed by some more news. On what? Covid everywhere of course. Aight, give me a break! Its Saturday! And who says we’ve got time now? Holy $#!^ 24 hours isn’t enough to reminisce & day-dream 🤷🏻‍♀️ Dayum! 😉

Get ready! Coz I am about to take you all on a ride. All millennial (Gen Y), I am hoping you will enjoy the nudge. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s trace tracks shall we? Song tracks. Let’s unwind, rewind, reminisce good old memories for good. BTW did you know, certain sounds trigger strong emotions within us? Ok Enough talk. Lets proceed.

Its winter and the year is 2001. Back to school. IMAGINE THAT! Oh dear lord just look at you (then). Full of vigor & life abundant (not that you are any less now). A kiddo, but you think otherwise. In the name of cosmetics, trying out a watercolor lip gloss for the 1st time. Your favorite past time besides day dreaming is to cut magazines and create collage of favorite celebs. Also, of all your prized possessions which obviously you didn’t worked a penny for 🙃 is—A CD Walkman aka diskman. 🙆‍♀️ Of course, given the year. And damn your haunt for that jlo hat from Jenny from the block 🙃

Jennifer Lopez – All I Have (Video) ft. LL Cool J
Jennifer Lopez ft. Fabolous – Get Right

16 now, with it brought a lot of changes, but I couldn’t tell. Couldn’t help notice, others noticing. Most boys back in school had been acting weird lately no doubt. What was only visible to others, I was trying to figure out all by myself. Have I shed my old skin?

Dance club phase: Being in a rebellious age-group, all I wanted was to do everything I was asked not to. Felt like clubbing, bunking school, experience first hand what’s all that fuss around discotheque. Attended one and guess what? 😦 Accepted an offer from a guy (was cute alright) and agreed to dance. Here I was, or say there I was 😝…dancing with a complete stranger for the first time. Song, Dilemma by Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland reminds me of that moment. 🙈 Eww??? Ouch that hurt LOL. Anyways, getting back to tracing time through song (tracks). Few list below:

Without you by Mariah. Year? IDK. Probably, as early as I started conversing in English. Favorite song as a child. Ecoksins what a innate hopeless romantic old soul I was…i I’m? 🤔 Link in caption.

Mariah Carey – Without You

Ronan, oh boi! This dong, sang for the 1st time in-front of a class of all 7th graders. Validated since, ‘this girl as in me CAN SING 😉 Or so I think. 🙂

When you say nothing at all- Ronan Keating

Here comes Shania. Her songs gives me a country music vibe. All time favorite and two words again ’hopeless romantic’ or an optimist in love.

Shania Twain – From This Moment On

1st crush. Must have been around 11/12? Not sure. This song lingered for long. Who had I been crushing on? My own cousin :/

Mandy Moore – I Wanna Be With You

As a 12 year old, 1st time attempted to try for a creative contest and got lucky on B4U music show. Was announced a winner for my creative artwork I had sent through. My dong dedication was for the song titled ‘Lucky’ by Britney Spears 🙂

Britney Spears – Lucky

Comes Ms. Beyonce. My 1st girl-gang rehearsal for a school performance which never took place 🙃 but was fun rehearsing.

Beyoncé – Crazy In Love

The Corrs, as I was learning to dare make unpopular choices over pop-culture. Although slowly but steadily, was learning to dare have a voice of my own.

The Corrs – Breathless

Leona: First heartbreak song or was it? The lyrics was so beautifully written; I am thinking I might have fooled myself to be heart-broken for the sake to relate. 😆 Such a drama queen.

Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love

Lady Antebellum. Not a fan but this song reminds me, how naive, reckless and stubborn I was—self-sabotaging. Playing mind-games with myself “If I can’t have you I must have you but if you come back I don’t want you.” haha 😂

Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

2011: Got my heart-broken the 2nd-time-round. But know what? With my pattern when good gets going, then comes best 🙂 and it’s only getting better with time. More heatbreajs? Hell ya! Bring it on.

Adele – Someone Like You 

Ms Clarkson. Wearing my heart around my sleeve. Falling back gazillion times but getting back right up—STRONGER.

Kelly Clarkson – Stronger 

2012: Loved the year 2012! My lucky year. Was do much at peace with myself. No love – bullshit or any other life-drama. Just pure music and my musical taste was getting refined. Was at best, enjoying the calm after the storm.

Birdy – Wings 

2013: Same as 2012. Much at peace. Enjoying work life like never before. Soaking in every tune even at work and full of satisfaction and self contentment. 2013, enjoying and getting used to normalcy.

Emeli Sandé – Next To Me

2012- 15 went playful, calm and rather normal for someone who’s life was no less than a roller-coaster. But for how long would I be able to contain this calm? And just then 2016 happened. With it, the year brought lot of confusion, bad choices. However, by mid-year in ages felt the way I did. But for what? Nada! What was that feeling really? I till date haven’t been able to wrap my head around it.😏 Outcome? Unrequited Love! Lingering me with the following tracks for months.

A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera – Say Something
Jessie Ware – Say You Love Me 

2017: When I wanted to cut the noise in my head and shut the world out. Imagine Dragon it was.

Imagine Dragons – Natural

2019: Not love buteverything else. Started dancing with the ghost.

Sasha Sloan – Dancing With Your Ghost

Ms GAGA. Into this song lately, for no particular reason. Although the track dates back to 2018.

Lady Gaga – Always Remember Us This Way (from A Star Is Born)

2020 (Now, this very moment): Following covers lately. Realigning with my inner-peace, as my life unfolds to normalcy. I listen and listen some more, to the said and more to words I unuttered. As I heed, I heal—yet again. Setting free, all things that no longer serves my highest good.

Peter Katz – Halo (Beyonce Cover)

Thanks for visiting. Happy Reminiscing.

She who…

If she is not the one you know then who is she?

 

She who’s father refused to see her face at birth because she was a second child and yet another girl. She who was abandoned, while this little one was chasing her mother; begging her to stay, but she left anyway. 

Her favorite birds were separating…just then, she fluctuated with grades (highs on her pre-board, but not so on the final). Some genius fools took this opportunity; brilliantly forecasting her future predicting – what she was NOT capable of…

Not the father or the mother but the other. Those ‘steps’ she could not rely standing on, let alone walking. Those not so grown-up elderlies would vent at her at any given chance as though she could feel nothing…But she did and a lot. Facilely they would throw a remark telling WHAT she lacked, but not exert an inch to empathize WHY she lacks it.

She who was condemned for playing innocent, but she who didn’t know a ‘b’ of bamboozle or ‘p’ of politics. She who was a victim yet she was sentenced for a crime she’d never committed. She who wasn’t cruel-clever to maneuver play in her favor; not even close to defending her own case for that matter.

Don’t fool fiction to be real or not-the-actual to be factual. FICTION can be an exaggerated reality and REALITY it’s played-down version – $hri§T

Happy Reading! 🙂

True Friend

In today’s era of technology where the world is in our palm and seemingly its a child’s play to network and find a love or a friend – but is it? Add ‘true’ before the aforementioned and think about it.

Scroll through those FB friend list of yours (if you may) OR look up on your phone 📱 directory. How many names you’d found whom you’d actually call in times of need? And I’m NOT referring to a seasonal craving kinda need o such but the real urge to feed your emotional need.

Who would you contact when you are feeling low w/o worrying about time? Or run to without considering miles?

A deserving friend who according to you should be the 1st to know (any change of events happening in your life)…Or that friend you would make a trip to, to a no man’s land in the middle of the night, around whom you may not look your best but they make you feel GREAT, with whom you can spend hours repeating the same old stories yet laughing out loud as if you’ve heard it for the 1st time.

Silence isn’t awkward rather comforting around them. You could be: silly or sad, fun or feeble, but the one who’ll be receptive whenever you reach out. You can be your truest self and open your heart out w/o being judged.

These intangible things like feelings / emotions / instinct / connection has a purpose in our life. Although they don’t shout out –  just know they are there – for our good. We know for a fact that we don’t connect with ever1 on a daily basis, so if we do share connection with someone, cherish, hold dear and keep them close.

This is to my friend in its truest sense.

Happy reading – $hr!&T

HNY!!

New year – 2016! Working on New Years resolution list? Oh u have em rdy already – Gr8!

How about you make this years resolution to check the progress made last year and a year before if possible? 🤔🙃😁

Well, not much progress there OR maybe you smashed it, whatever the case its undeniable that we all want to progress in whatever area we wish to, thus each new year seems like the perfect time to get on with our wishlists. It brings with it hope but is that enough?

Some might want to refrain from bad, some lost count thus simply want to start new, some to gain (weight perhaps) while others target to lose the same, but why wait for 1st of new month in a new year to do just that?

Stay resolute to complete what you’ve started – why the need to check date/time for that matter. Don’t start counting on the time left; rather enjoy the process. No point in getting anxious over its results it’ll cause more damage than good.

Personally i believe every morning allows you to start new. Even a simple thought that popped in your head out of no where when least expected can be the moment you want to seize to initiate – change.

‘Change/ success’ – we all know doesn’t happen overnight, but yes we must allow a certain day/time for it to begin ‘START NEW!’

What’s important is for you to stay dedicated, only then in due course of time your consistency, dedication and hardwork will start taking some concrete shape. It will be foolish to expect results overnight. 

Undeniably it takes dedication, patience and much more to succeed. Seems doable but It ain’t a cup of tea for all…In order for one to bring about that change, to motivate its crucial to stay motivated; not necessarily relying on the list or a new calendar year.

So you said you were working on creating a New Years resolution? Think again, all the very best and a HNY to you all 😊✨❄️🎊☃🍾🎉

An optimist!

Global citizen/what politics? We are simply – an optimist!

While the big promises are made, plans to make this world a better place are being discussed resulting with endless goals being piled up to collect dust…

Not questioning any authority or complaining. Who am I to? Particularly when I already know that there’s nothing you can do. Anyways, we are aware that some global issues are being resolved or at least in process; while there are some unseen not necessarily ignored.

Initiatives are taken with dignity and our hearty respect for heroes around the globe, but it seems they are few in comparison to the issues we have and the new ones are being produced every single moment.

Do realize that the difference may not be visible overnight and change for the betterment of the humanity, globally will happen eventually and everyone must do their bit, but to speak of an ordinary person like me and there are millions like me who is being affected by the big news and often feels helpless as to: how we can help or make a difference?

These ordinary people (OP) like me are those trying to live their normal life, who claims to have no power but the few people in power orate, designating OP as the one who indeed is in power. Maybe that’s true or maybe not.

OP who no doubt are affected emotionally by the global crisis. We see the news on TV or read the newspaper – react in awe and change the channel/turns the page, why? Because we live in the moment as we are obligated to. Aware of global news but we gotta rush to work or we might get late. So, might quickly grab a breakfast and get going or else there won’t be food in the table, groceries for a month for the family one has to feed.

These ordinaries are the people who may not react to the big issues unless directly affected e.g what’s happening in the nation (Nepal) now? But is that new? If you ask me or young adults of my age – we’ve grown up addressing these political issues early on when we had no interest or clue in whatsoever…

On top of my head I recall one petty riots to start with i.e Hrithik Roshan kanda that prevented us to play outdoors for a while or cycle in street and as a kid – hated that restriction.

Maoist attack in school when in 8th standard came as the cost where most of the teachers in our school were foreigners, they left the country and left the incomplete course for us to complete on our own. School management went haywire with teachers on strike…

Soon after, nation woke up in complete shock with the news of Royal Massacred and over the years we moved passed the incident and somehow we focused on our preparation and passed the SLC, so-called the iron gate but no time for celebration because what we’d witnesses all these years was indeed the beginning of the political turmoil…

We are the generation who saw the pre-post democracy movement (Jana Andolan – II). When in high school, riots in Nepal after killing hostages in Iraq created another chaos , education sectors was closed for weeks, an empty street and burning tires on the road. Inside every closed doors families trying to stay safe, parents gluing their eyes on the news channel – all these during puberty made us thick-skinned where personal issues no matter how profound were trivial in comparison to political turbulence in the nation.

After all the years, moved on with life and as time demanded, landed up in the job (first job ever) and graduated, despite the odd working hours or distance there were times when we walked to work and then walked to college after work. And after all these years, doing the same thing i.e walking to work yet again…

While the nation was and is still recovering after the major earthquake that hit the nation on 25 April and its aftershock – amidst the dark there we saw a glimpse of hope (light) brought about by the news of the new constitution but soon that lead to severe shortages in essential supplies like petrol, kerosene, diesel etc which are the fuel for life, for the mobility that feeds to basic needs in ever nook and corner of the city and keeps us all going. But now the situation is such that: leaving home to run some errands or even to do the daily chores has become no less than preparing for a battlefield.

Wouldn’t want to call it political entirely but whatever it is, that our nation is facing might not be the biggest issue of all (globally speaking) but it needs to be addressed. How is the question! You & I = “WE” could be just a layman who’s not the brightest, is not in power, has his/her own personal issues to take care of, who’s making an average income to support his/her family – what more could that ordinary person do if s/he sees a beggar grabbing a good from the garbage? Maybe handover some money or help the beggar buy some food, similar is the situation at hand. We will do what we can to contribute with whatever we have.

People and youth of our country are not completely helpless, taken aback or reliant, taking the current situation for an example – we all can tell. We have been patient but THAT not to be taken for our weakness. We have tried to stay as optimistic as we can – seeing a glass half empty as half full. To state this statement as truth we have various examples: through various other channels and social media like in the tweets and FB status – we hear the voice of our nation.

“So what the Indian channels are out? For our mothers and aunt who are addicted to the indian soap opera have opened up to try new even if that means learning Chinese ☺️ watch Nepali shows instead, one can either: sit down and compliment, pass a rowdy comment or get up and make the change in the Nepali entertainment world you want to see.

Power outage so what? We can use that time reading books, connecting with friends by making a visit instead of a poke through a FB. After dinner while still waiting for a power/light to be back we can hear great stories of our childhood or any stories our mum, grand parents has to share. Not living with family? In that case go up in the terrace, look at the sky and count it if you wish to 😉 trust me it’s so much better than staring at your mobile screen.

Fuel shortage so what? At least we have a healthy Nepal who cycles or walks to work and that’s Eco-friendly too. We all agree this ain’t the final solution practically speaking but must admit that we are not totally deprived of the necessity as well. What is necessity? All these needs are man-made/created and we’ve all become dependent to the fast changing world in the name of modernization.

We’re positive that surely there could be an alternative to all the problems mentioned above: every family, every country has problems they need to resolve – this shall pass too as nothing is temporary be it good times or bad. Thus, we just need to give ourselves some time to adopt to this change, meanwhile stay united, and as for being patient – we already are best known for it 😊

In adversity we find an opportunity and many of us have taken this privation as an opportunity to wear that heroic hat and make the change – however we can. A very good and fast tending example is – carpooling. Also, how can we forget how people volunteered to those in need after the major earthquake struck the nation early this year. 

We are getting up strong each time we fall, although helpless offering a helping hand and recovering with time to turn wounds into wisdom. I am so proud to be born in the nation where amid all these mayhem, there is still so much positivity around.

Happy reading & be proud to be a Nepali! – $hri&T

Tracing roots 

In a skittish mood 😜cracking jokes that doesn’t make sense, interrogating mum with endless questions, memorizing grand parent’s names 😝 but I’m so glad for where the conversation lead to…

Now I know that our late grandad was a Burmese, an army doctor by profession, and spoke 22 languages. 

Mum says she isn’t sure about the religion he followed but as a child she has a vivid image that her dad had “Lord Shree Krishna” tattooed in his forearm. She further says that her dad didn’t talk much about his past life, but one thing she knows is – he was compelled to abandon his family back home and start a new life on his own. That’s when he entered a foreign land i.e Nepal, was on his own with only 25(MMK) in his pocket. 

Hmm…this is getting interesting. Grand dad’s life is rolling like a movie on my head. R.I.P grand dad and would love to visit your homeland someday. I promise! 😊

Can colleagues be friends?

Can FRIENDS be colleagues? Yup!
Can COLLEAGUES be friends? Maybe!
Can they be GOOD FRIENDS? I have my doubts!
Can FRIENDS TURNED COLLEAGUES be good colleagues? It’s not impossible!

If you love your friends and love what you do;
Want to keep your BFF’s for ever and your job too?
Take one simple advice and don’t ever mix-up the two.
O-else it’ll be like you establishing an organisation to gain profit but end-up doing a charity.

Well! charity is a good thing but my point is, its likely you’ll stray and lose focus. Go in reverse and think why have you chosen this platform? You stepped in this corporate world merely with an aim to make friends. Socialize – maybe but making friends? – I don’t think so.” You were welcomed aboard for a reason so use the right weapon for the right situation. Use that making friends quality of your into networking.

Its crucial you do your job and do it right. Leave your vulnerability back home. Coz only when you choose to open up – there’s a chance to get shot; when you trust – chance to get betrayed. Likewise, when you thinking fairness; someone else is thinking to back-stab, when you fight for the justice for others you are unjustified, you try to understand others instead you are misunderstood, you try to help yet become helpless.

What do you expect? Nothing in this world is fair. Just an eye opening example a well wisher of mine shared: You may learn how to drive and get your license legitimately but that does not proof stamp you’ll not fall prey to an accident? Its corporate survival of the fittest and you are riding vultures but they are not to blame cause you are one too. However, learn to separate and balance your work and personal life, it’ll simplify things for you in both the areas – $hrisT

Sight that got me thinking…

Monday, August 18, 2014

It was 10 in the morning and I was home watching TV – enjoying my day off. Mum was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Just then, uncle came for a quick visit but he left as soon as he came. I recalled that I had left my bike last Friday for servicing thus asked uncle if he could drive me till showroom, and he agreed.

Mum insisted that I have my breakfast first, but I didn’t wanted to keep uncle waiting for long so I rushed myself into a jeans, tugged a T and grabbed a sandal. Impetuously made my way down the stairs promising mum to be back soon. Mum muttered sth but I could not figure what she said and I didn’t bothered. She might have been bit upset as I left the warm food. Usual stuff!

I and uncle were on our way and just then I caught sight of a hungry beggar gobbling anything edible he found in the garbage bag. I’d seen pictures, movies but never perceived such a heart wrecking sight in person. We’d passed through the sight so quickly that my brain hadn’t registered the image seen and by the time I wanted to react, we’d reached a main road and now stuck in a traffic.

All the way to the showroom and back home, I was thinking and I still am thinking….Can’t get over it! That vision is haunting me, its making me guilty. I feel sorry, helpless and am mad at myself coz I could have done something, why didn’t I react? It’s so easy to pity over things like this but how many of us actually does sth about it? I could have given that man some money or brought him some decent food to eat. But to think, even if I did what I thought I could do, how much of an impact could that make? One meal? And what after that? Not to forget there are 1000s more like him in Kathmandu alone.

It was only 10:00 in the morning and I didn’t even bother to have my break-fast, because I wasn’t hungry. We tend to take this everyday things for granted and someone somewhere out there who is underprivileged battles for all these basic needs every single day. We have enough to be thankful for yet we want more. We take everyday things for granted and yet we think we are helpless, if we are helpless what about those people struggling from one meal to next?

We don’t know how it feels to be hungry and I’m not talking craving kind of hunger here. We surely don’t have to worry sleeping empty stomach but there are 1000s of them who’s living a life we can’t even imagine. I really don’t know what I alone could do to help all these underprivileged and how to get rid of them from grass root level. But what we really can do right now is STOP complaining and appreciate what we’ve got, respect the food on our plate and be thankful to god for every grain we put in your mouth.

Am simply pouring out how I’m feeling at the moment. Am just an ordinary with an urge to share, making a small attempt to make all reader’s ponder over, sth NOT NEW – this is not something you all have never heard/read about.

Biology is the least…

Oprah Winfrey once said, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” Agreed! But I also believe biology is the least of what makes anyone anything. Transformation a human body goes through biologically has least of what makes them a child, an adult, matured or parents.

Children can only have one biological father and a mother but is it the same for parents? Just an example, when a male parent gets divorced and gets married again, he gets him a new wifey, if he wishes to – he can choose to produce himself a new daughter/son and there he has manufactured himself a new family. Yes “manufacture” is the term chosen intentionally.

Now this man’s got a new wife, new life and new daughter, but for a daughter from his first marriage, she still has one father and there’s no replacement, at least biologically it’s simply impossible for her to get a new father.

For children, once they lose their parents they either wait for someone to adopt them or adapt quickly to the change; to become an adult not knowing how it is to be a child when they’re still one. You see, maturity comes when life leave you no choice but to act matured. This is a one way high way. You either adapt the change to survive or die trying.

A 9-year-old will act matured if situation demands. S/he wouldn’t wait another 9 years to finally turn 18 to act responsible. I have always believed that biology is least of what makes someone a mother/father and biology is least of what makes someone a child. It’s life experiences that makes you who you are and it’s life situations that molds your personality. It’s never constant though; nothing is. No matter how ready or unprepared you are, you can never expect what situations life will throw at you.