Near to Never-Satisfied !

What am I waiting for or who?
What kept me going then and what’s stopping me now? I wish I knew, but I don’t know.

Isn’t it ok to be confused and say “I don’t know” or do we have to pretend to have an answer to everything?

It’s not just about you and I or ‘You’ – a counseling expert consoling a friend. We all, every now and then seem to be as confused as it can get. You may have been right then, but you cannot always be right. I don’t understand, why people make this an egocentric, succoming to the truth.

Checklists never seem to complete; wants and desire never seem to fade.
When in rush I hate myself for being hasty, but when dawdling, I hate that too.

I seem to bewilder, but then I ask ‘isn’t it perfectly ok to be?’

I questioned without the preparedness, only to find an answer which, with itself brought a lotta pain. If truth’s doomed, the knowledge I tell you isn’t worth-a-gain.

I made a wish, but only when it got fulfilled, I realized it wasn’t worth wishing for.So now, I’ve lost confident and I don’t know anything anymore or what I should be asking for. And if the thing that I’m asking for, is worth asking for. I doubt if we should seek for an answer to the prayer when all that’s received goes-in-vain.

Inquisitive, but never satisfied with the answers, so why seek?
Endless wants, but never content when fulfilled, so why desire?

Must leave the past behind, shouldn’t stress about the future, rather focus on now.
Now! Is this where I should be or is this where you wait?
Where have I come and who have I become? Guess I’ve never known myself or maybe I’ve lost faith.

Have I been relying on others way too much to validate myself?
Have I been brooding aimlessly or are am the target now?

What are my expectations and where are my dreams?
If they’re not shattered, why do they seem?

Am I being hopelessly hopeful or is there some hope?
Am I denial? If so you tell me who isn’t? OR who allow/knows the truth?

There used to be a time when I wished to be where I am today, but now I wish this to change. Although not knowing what different I want, when or IF this changes.

What is it that I want? Or who is it that I’m waiting for? Will this wait ever be over? Whatever it is, I like every being am incomplete and near to never-satisfied. But why should I be?

If there would be no questions, none would be the answers,
If there would be no curiosity, there would be no knowledge.
If there would be no confusions, none would be those clarifications and explanations,
If there would be no dissatisfaction; there would be ‘No More.’

It’s ok to be confused, confusion is the route to clarity – they say. One doesn’t need to have an answer to everything anyway. This is true, also because not everyone has an answer to everything. So, don’t be afraid to acknowledge what you don’t know. Keep the courage to say things as it is, I don’t mean you be rude though. And most importantly, keep that curiosity alive and stay hungry for more. Know that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and learn that ‘they’ are not always right.

Happy Reading – $hri§T