“Beautiful She”, My Mother My Best Friend!

She is the most beautiful person in the world to me: She, who has nurtured the child in me as well as influenced the women in me. She is Mother less more a friend to me. A friend who’s always guided me in the right direction, who’s wondered along when I lost track, who’s accepted me despite my rejection of her, who’s always been welcoming no-matter how many times I’ve left, who’s always been there when I needed her-even when I though I didn’t…She who’s never enforced her rules on me, instead has allowed me to learn from my mistakes.

She, whom I’ve never expressed my affection towards as much as I’ve poured my discomforts and dislikes, don’t know why sometimes nearness makes it harder to express things we want to. Words find no voice and despite the willingness we fail; I wonder why that happens. Why the urge to drawback from expressing adoration towards our own? Why end up sounding critical, when in fact wanted to show gratitude? Why so hard to utter those simple words that convey acceptance? Why withhold the positive emotion when there’s plenty more? Why do we often miss to see what we have and nag over things that we don’t?

Have experienced times when words are nothing but a mere mumble; more of all sustains in action. But other times when words and action both fail, what do we do? Luckily! When it comes to Mothering, “There’s less expectation and more an acceptance”. When you have no one else to run to, she is not an option but the only choice you have. I’ve misunderstood her several times and there were days, when I thought she was negligent of me, but didn’t realize then-how neglectful I was of her. And now that I’ve realized, I want her to know: I do respect her for all the things that she’s given me, also those that she (didn’t). I have nagged and fought with her, have judged her, have cursed myself for judging her, have hated her as much as I’ve loved her.

She has a secret unlocked as deep as that of an ocean; she has them for she wants the best for the rest. Depth of her soul yet to be explored, she is the mystery unresolved, the more you solve more modest she becomes. Besides being a mysterious history she is indeed a bright future. She wants us to live the life that she couldn’t live; she wishes all our wishes to come true. In our joy she finds her happiness, in our success she cherishes her achievement, in our fulfillment she seeks her freedom. She always wants what’s best for us. She is my mother, more a friend in its truest sense. She is beautiful inside and out. She’s not perfect yet so, she is.

As it’s said, “Maybe god was too busy to answer all of our prayers, which is why he created Mother”. True! Maybe god knew he wasn’t perfect and couldn’t be there for all his children at all times that’s why he created yet another wonderful being; his counterpart “Mother for all”. She who brought us to life, who showed us true meaning of life, who taught us to actually live life and who has become our life.

She is most wanted when you feel unwanted, she whose presence you feel mostly when she is absent, she whom most of us take for granted in a sense, we always expect her to understand without making an effort from our part, trying to understand her. She’s been compromising since decades and we take her acquiesce for the things “she wants”. Have we ever asked “What she really wants”, even if we have, chances are she’ll confuse her wants with our needs, in that case, have we really made an effort to know what she really needs? Are the things that we want, really what she wants too as an individual? Do she deserve to compromise as always?

My point might not make complete sense to all but those plenty daughters like me out there, can feel my words as we’re the mere reflection of her. We’re the first to see our mother turning from mystery to a miracle; we’ve wondered how she does all the things that she does, so effortless it seems yet so much exertion it takes.

I have grown up adoring her beauty, envying her charm, aspiring her vitality, adopting her attributes, mimicking her acts, putting on her make-up, envying her collection, trying on her apparel, trying to fit myself on her shoes…But today I have grown up to the size where I’ve been standing tall on her heels and observing the world. Now I see, how “Beautiful she” has beared her entire life in these painful heels. Elegant as it looks torturous it feels, leaving up to other’s expectations while compromising own needs. Have grown up confused, in the society that says male’s a Macho but all strength acquired is through what others call “Fe-male”. “Beautiful She” definitely is not, Fe-for-feeble as “Fe” defines.

She is an easy inspiration, a courageous soul, a giver, a risk-taker. She who dares to wear teen even in her 40’s,she’s shrewd because she knows the best, liberal because she don’t believe in taking sides, accountable because she values every dime. She’s life of every party coz she believes in giving despite how she’s feeling. She who falters with the latest gadget(technologies), falls short to changing trend but she who knows all other things spiritual than these. She understands these techno has advanced but is trivial when it comes to true essence that makes life. These and others inexplicably make “Beautiful She”, My Mother My Best Friend!