Yet ! I Am Still Alive !!

Sth very unusual happened yesterday (March 7 2011).While the day started with a good feeling:My final meeting with ECS went awesome, hanging out with Ujjwala for lunch was fun as usual, and all my frens congratulating me over the phone and texting me was an overwhelming feeling but just as good was here;it wasn’t there to stay too long. Good news reckoned bad event.

In the evening just while I was on the phone with Neha, she was congratulating me and sharing few other things of her own….I had to let her go for my bad coz there was uninvited guest waiting at the door for me to hang up the phone. They too unfortunately happen to be my friend (can’t take her real name but let me name her Ayusha).I wasn’t expecting them and was surprised to see them all of a sudden at my door. They insisted that I come along but I wasn’t dressed or even had anything in hand like cell phone or money but as always I couldn’t deny.I hurriedly said goodbye to mom promising her to be back soon. Mom thought that,my friends might be here for the celebration on me getting a new job so she allowed me to leave though it was late in the evening.

I got into the car (I was at the back seat where myself,Ayusha and two of her other girlfriends were there)…all of a sudden Ayusha’s BF who was driving the car abuses me and the guy sitting next to the drivers seat adds on(I had never seen him before)…..I was shocked! While guys called me names,girls seemed too scared to even utter a word.One girl sitting right next to me was crying and was requesting to stop the car so that she can get down but guys wouldn’t listen……

For some reason Ayusha’s BF thought that I was trying to set Ayusha with someone else(I don’t know why on earth would I even waste my energy doing that?). Though Ayusha was in the car but she refused to utter a word coz if she would,she herself would be in trouble.Ayusha would always take my name as an excuse from getting away from home to party to late night whatever be the case,my name was her Savior.I am guessing she might have applied the same old formula again-unaware of the circumstances.

I was accused for no reason…they even tried getting physical(using hand to hit but I resisted as hard as I could.I dint hit back but I tried protecting myself).My brain couldn’t immediately register what was happening at the moment.IDK sth got inside me and I was really numb to feel the pain or even feel anything.

After the two guys were done with speaking the language I merely understood & all the cursing and hitting, they stopped the car in the middle of nowhere. My so called friend’s angry BF-stepped out of the car and opened the back door.He grabbed me hard by the arm and dragged me off the car and pushed me in the middle of the road and kicked on the side of my belly.

Was in a highway,It was dusk and not a single head but few countable vehicles…. I dint had a penny in my pocket, no cell phone to make an emergency call so I had to walk all the way home. While I was on my way walking I didn’t chose a different route-what if they had backed their car to smash me into bits n pieces but in any case I chose not to run to escape and if this is life-this is shit and even to struggle to survive is such a waste. .I do no wrong and try and avoid all troubles but trouble seems to be fond of me.

While I was walking down that ill street, I was thinking to myself…Gzz what just happened? My parents who never even raised a finger at me, no one ever raised their voice at me ….I never allowed such situation(I was and still am not that troublesome kind)….I wasn’t the kind of a girl who has any record of having minor of minor girl’s fight….and what just happened? I even pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming….Oh Boi !Worst could happen!God must have been too busy to save me, but I was fortunate to be alive coz of my mum. Those guys had worst plan for me but they were smart enough to remember that my mom had seen them all and if anything happens to me that night or If I was lost …mom could stand as a witness….so Ayusha’s BF just left me with a warning not to see his GF again (with pleasure I was thinking to myself).I never seek her anyway!

God knows what Ayusha might have told her BF and god knows what her BF might have understood…better not bother whatever it was….that wouldn’t in anyway change anything…It is still hard for me to believe that Ayusha’s BF who once couldn’t thank me enough for helping him and Ayusha unite when they were about to break up,could do such a thing to me.He who came by my place to wish me on my birthday,Ayusha who was the 1st person to wish me happy birthday that too right at 12:00 midnight on my big day could do such a thing…who knew ?!?

It’s true that I happen to know this (third guy)but never was my intention to pair them up.And Ayusha aint a kiddo,why would she need someone like me to fix things up for her….Here i am sharing my personal to strangers and you all might think that I am making a fool out of myself but I don’t care what others think as long as I am true to myself…I am just writing and this is how I heal.

As I reached home…unlike other times mom came rushing and asked if I was OK? I said I was just fine and why would she ask that unusual question anyway-what could happen to me? After all I was out with my own friends? Was trying hard to avoid her from seeing my face and at the same time acting as normal as I could. For the 1st time in life I was thankful to this power cut and load shedding coz that prevented my mom from seeing me get hurt and what could hurt me more than seeing my mom getting hurt…I was keeping up with the conversation with mom and at the same time managing not to look her in the eye(coz then I would cry)…..but she was going on and on…..she tells me, she had this gut feeling an intuition abt sth bad…she felt reckless after I left(she also mentioned how roughly that car was picked up )…she sys she even banged her knee which she sys is a bad sign(as ancestors say it) and she went on….

I was amused by her and I knew how right her intuition was but I disguised her with a smile and told her not to be such superstitious.I told her I would rather be interested in my entree (not to forget I came down walking all the way.Funny!but I was hungry even at that state of mind (haha).I thought it would be wise not to tell anything to mom about the incident coz then the issue would rise and battle would never end,so i kept within(but she is mom and mom knows it all despite we not explaining)….I had my dinner, was tired but I couldn’t sleep.

This incident reminded me of my cousin brother…He too was in similar kind of situation but worst was his case. He was seriously injured and we all went to see him…His wound and plaster, his protruded face scared the hell out of us all but he was bindass ,relaxed and fiddling on his computer and smiling back at us instead(coz to him the expression that we were wearing on our face was rather funny). He had the right attitude to life but unfortunately he is no more…Just a month after that incident,he died in a bike accident on the exact date i.e March 7 09,how spooky can it get!?!May his soul RIP.We miss you,love you,and always!

I think, its useless justifying yourself.No one understands no one. All you can do is, do the right thing and bear all hassles w/o complaining and maybe someday somewhere down the road we will get an answers to all this; somewhere at the end of the world maybe and I must 1st die to see. I am not a drama queen but drama chooses me. No matter how hard I try to keep things simple, complications follow me. One does not have to shut oneself to avoid problems….if they are to happen they will happen anyway…u don’t need to come to the road to get hit by a car; while still at home washing dishes u can be hit to die. .

You do good for all and still u can be prepared for the worst in return-this is life it’s never fair.
Like wise you don’t have to look for trouble to make enemies, why bother looking for enemies when u have friends substituting enemies.Like said in the movie :”Trust Everyone, Just Don’t Trust The “Devil” Inside them”-Italian Job…Call it my bad but I have always known all my friends and failed to know the devil inside them…

And not to forget mentioning about a woman’s day. Yes! What a way to celebrate a woman’s day(eve). For a man as strong as he9If he calls himself a man)…That’s what you do, you hit a women on a woman’s day,you abuse her and basg her up to prove that you are man…

I’ve got tons on my head, haven’t slept all night and after tomorrow I have exam.I wonder if the TU board is gonna ask anything pertaining to the matter that I want to write about? But they won’t….so I better go back to reading…..

TC All

4 thoughts on “Yet ! I Am Still Alive !!

  1. Jesus! girl, take care of yourself. S*hit happens. Rejoice your new job and the life you have. Too short to stress over some filthy bastards 🙂 Good luck !


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s