D ! I was just flipping back pages from my old diary,like i do repeatedly (hehe)…That’s how i am so connected with my past. There bck in 2006 i had written sth about you.So thought of sharing piece of that writing on my blog …
I Write: “Now i am a better sister,a better daughter,a better friend ,a better person,and its all because of you ..I am just a reflection of you but still in a process of becoming you.”
“Everything that i go through you feel it before i do because everything that i am experiencing now…you’ve experienced it too”. And that’s why i say i am just an image of you.Oh lord !! “I am so much yourself” LOL !!
D ! You’ve seen the dumbest part in me and the creative part in me…You’ve seen me when I’ve looked the ugliest and when I’ve looked the prettiest (I THINK) Ehh !!…
You’ve seen the collages that i made and the songs i tried tantalizing in bed ….You’ve seen me dressed fugly and You’ve heard me pronounce shutter for satire..Oh how ugly Ehh.
You mean everything to me and i mean it when i say i mean it..I MEAN IT IN CAPITAL LETTERS !!
Was it Dashain Or Tihar?? I am not sure but granny(dad’s mom) had passed away and we could not celebrate or perform any ritual for a year but…despite which we all went to mama’s place at Maitidevi and i remember …just an instance-out of innocence maybe..sumu happen to put on that malla (AND WE WERE NOT SUPPOSE TO)..He did that and all our relatives were like “No No No” As though sky had fallen down..Poor my baby brother he was bewildered for he couldn’t tell what is it that he really did -that shocked the hell out of all. I still remember on seeing this how you rushed to the other room and bursted into tears…I was little too …I could feel it but i did nothing about it than just watching you shed all those tears..Awww I love u D !!Love u soo much.
Once i visited your college(WHITE HOUSE) with you..there was this guy trying to flirt…he passed on a comment on my cap(saying J-Lo Cap Or Whatever That he said)..and than you gave him that dead eye LOL….poor fellow..He was zipped instantly and couldn’t even dare to lmake an eye contact with you after that (Hehe)….
There are numerous such incidents ..this one is just one OUT OF MANY….that moment i thought to myself..Hell ya !Am i blessed and lucky or what? That’s why maybe i never longed for no1 when u were around…u left for US and than… from that day till today i am looking for THINGS….and questioning myself ..what is it that i am missing??…..Neva needed dad or mum,or a best friend or a boy friend…never wanted elder brother in place of you-Never !..Coz u better protected me when i needed…
You alone in my life played a role of a father-mother-best friend-elder brother…what could i ask for..but too bad…You left and so did all.
The way i want – i never get it – from others – the way i get it from you !
My sister is my mother…my mother is my friend..my frens are my sisies…and my sister calls this MAGIC !! Ehh
I maybe unfortunate when it comes to relationship..be it father-daughter relationship,mother-daughter relationship, or the least imp of all boifren-gurlfren relationship.For i still feel worthy and blessed for being gifted an elder sister like you.
BEFORE MY BIRTH…MY GIFT FROM GOD…WAS AWAITING ME ON EARTH…THAT WAS U- YES U – ❤ U D !
People say this world is selfish and life is all about give and take but through you I’ve learnt …there can be just give and give without expecting anything to receive…All you ever wannet was-what was best for us (i.e myself and sumu)….you make me proud..(Or lets put it this was:like sumu’s silly blunder – i say it too …D! you make me proud…Today, Tomorrow ! LOL